(2020, back-posting from old blog; Photo by Drew Beamer on Unsplash)
Tears welled in my eyes this morning as I cleaned the kitchen and peripherally listened to the cartoon my children were watching. The animated car family was celebrating their deceased grandfather’s birthday with a scavenger hunt that led them around to all of his favorite things, and ended with his “treasure,” the two grandchildren. Having just lost my grandmother this month it hit close to home. With three little ones, a newborn included, this has taken me way too long to write, as her life is definitely worth honoring (it’s literally taken me five sittings to write this first paragraph). I have often asked myself how on earth she managed all she did while raising four children. She got a college degree when many women in her generation didn’t even dream of it, then went on to complete a master’s and even got her doctorate. She had a long career in prestigious positions at the University of Arkansas where she had an impact on many lives. I know this from when people we would meet while out and about on a visit to her, from her own stories, and now on the many comments online in response to her obituary.
I loved hearing her recollections from childhood. In our last conversation a few weeks ago on the phone I asked her about some specific things I was curious about in her childhood in light of everything happening now and a book I’m reading. She definitely helped shed some light. Nana was highly interested in genealogy and worked hard to gather as much information as possible on our family lines, all the way to a certain John MacCallum from Scotland who landed in South Carolina in the 1600s. What a treasure for our family to have this information.
She helped define for me what it is to be Southern (and as a southerner way overdue a visit home this gets me even more). I love the South and am so thankful my roots are there. With all of its flaws and mystic beauty. She showed me it can mean being sweet and polite but also intelligent and cultured. Nana traveled extensively in her adult life and I would pour over her photos of Europe when we would go visit and she would tell us all about her recent adventures. These were the pre-internet days so flipping through her real photos of palaces and castles opened a new world for me and forever ignited a wanderlust in me to see those far-flung places. Now here I am writing this from Spain after falling in love with Europe and a Spaniard after trips taken upon her inspiration. She even made it to my wedding in Spain with her husband (they re-married in their golden years). I used to joke in college that my grandmother had more of a hip life than I did as they would go on dates, to concerts and travel all over the place.
Memories are often tied to food, thank goodness because I love food. Too much. I can’t eat peaches and blueberries without it taking me back to eating them on her porch in high summer ever July when we would make the 13 hour trek to Arkansas from Alabama. And I still make her tomato and pesto pie (focaccia bread, pizza-thing…we never really had a name for it, just “Nana’s tomato thing”).
She always said she wanted her ashes to be sprinkled under a magnolia tree on the Mississippi Delta because that’s where she was born and couldn’t imagine anything more southern. I love that image and will always call her to mind when I see a magnolia tree. Lucky me the neighbors have one right outside my window. It is a privilege to honor her life call her my much-beloved grandmother.